Rule One. Never, ever arrive between the hours of 20.00h and 08.00h. You may save 50 pounds on the flight, but your will be off to a bad start. Oh, and hire a car, don’t asked to be collected from the airport. Rule Two. At the first opportunity, go to the local supermarket and stock the fridge and larder of your hosts, with all that you will need for your stay, beers, wines, brandies, meat, bread, butter, your favourite snacks…everything! Rule Three. Your hosts are not on holiday, you and your family are. You could go off on a day trip with your family, on your own. Don’t just wake up, shower, eat breakfast then ask your hosts, ‘Where and what have you arranged for us to do today?’ Rule Four. Your hosts may not want to stay up until three in the morning drinking wine and then lie in until midday, your hosts live here all year, you and your family are on holiday. Rule Five. Take your hosts out at least twice in a week, for a special meal, no, not a 7 euro menu at the local Chinese. Remember cooking for you and your family every day is hard work. Rule Six. Never, never ask for a box to take home all the food and the drink that you didn’t use during your visit. This will guarantee, the end of the friendship or family relationship for at least 5 years, if not forever.
Tips for hosts. Encourage your guests to read these six rules, one week before their visit. If they don’t arrive or cancel their holiday…..you would have fallen out anyway!!